The life of a hoarder~ 囤积者or爱情收藏家？
热3已有 604 次阅读 2016-12-08 17:12
Some people like to collect stamps, like my roommate; some like to collect boyfriends,
like Samantha in Sex and the City; I, like to collect socks, long, short, cotton,
polyester, stripes, polka dot, etc.
Notice the word: collect. I used "collect", because either my roommate or Samantha are
collecting something that are of sentimenal values or material ones. It is something
that one can be proud of or at least not be ashamed of. However, the word we are going
to discuss today have rarely been used in a positive context. It is HOARDING, which can
be losely translated as the behavior of collecting something excessively. The typical
image is an elderly man picking random things off the street, such as a piece of used
paper or a beer can, and putting them in his room, to a point that the house is
infested with all kinds crap. I guess I do not need to further explain the word,
because all of us have met or known someone suffering from the habit of hoarding.
If we strech the word "hoard"a little bit, any of us could be a hoarder, in a harmless way
of course. I have never felt much of a hoarder until lately, when I have run into some
problems buying a pair of shoes. A few months ago, a friend of mine took me to a large
sportswear outlet to buy tennis equipment. When trying on tennis shoes, I noticed a pair
of walking shoes that looked quite simple and chic.(To be honest, I hadn't heard of "walking shoes" until then.) They were not as chunky as the running shoes. Instead, they look a lot
more like Converse sneakers, only lighter and simipler.The best thing was, when I tried
them on, I felt like walking on clouds. There was not much compression from any side.
They fit like gloves. After putting my NB sneakers back on, the stark contrast made me
almost want to toss the NBs into the garbage tin.
So I bought one pair and went home. For the next month, the more I wore the new shoes, the
more I felt in love with them. They were just sooooo comfortable. Pardon my lack of shoe
experiences, but I felt like my feet were on vacation after a dozon years of painful shoes.
I did not even care whether the shoes were made for walking exercises, not for daily wear.
I just wore them, day in and day out, that was until I realized that the shoes would be
worn out if I did anything in it. The thought scared me. I felt like a poor fisher man
suddenly fishing out a gold plate from the sea--I wanted more. Unfortunately, by the time
I returned to the store, all the shoes of my size were gone. Since they were from a German
brand little heard of anywhere else, I was unable to locate the shoes anywhere except for
the online store on Taobao, the wish bottle of all potential buyers.
I order to three of them, one in each color avaiable. Unfortunately, the online store
later informed me that only two colors were available, so I ended up having the same shoes
in two differen colors, two for each. Usually, my love for something would soon subside.
It is easy to undertand. When you get your first computer or a cellphone, you try to
keep it clean all the time. After a few weeks, you no longer care. After a year or two,
you just want to get rid off it for a new one. It is the same for a computer, a cellphone,
a piece of clothes, or even a boyfriend. So I assumed it would be the same for the shoes.
Strangely, my affection for them grow more profound as time went on. I know it is weird to
love a pair of shoes so much, but I love the fact that they take good care of my feet, which
is very important for a man my age
. At certain point, one had to take better care of
. At certain point, one had to take better care of himself. So I started to calculate how much longer I could be living and how many more pair
I need.
By now you have probably figured out why I want to talk about hoarding. Apparently, I have
entered a crazy zone where I am strangely obessed with keeping the shoes in my life, the
shoes that may soon disappear altogether. So I ordered more online. Unfortunately, Taobao
can be quite unrelable when it comes to shopping sometimes. As it turned out, there were four
online stores that still claim they have the shoes, but after I tried them one by one, all of
them refunded my money for having no shoes in stock, except for one. And this one store
neither ship the shoes nor give me the refund, taking my money and simply disappeared.
At first, I was outraged, trying to figure out a way to get my shoes or my money. However,
after some futile efforts, I suddenly realized the crazy state I had pushed myself to,
for a pair of shoes? During our life, there are occasions in everyone's life when we
lost control and did crazy things. Sometimes it was calling our boyfriend incessently when
he refused to pick up. Other times it was binge eating or drinking. I guess I was too
obssessed with having wonderful things forever that I lost perspective of myself.
Looking back, I was indeed quite a hoarder when it came to shopping. It was probably rooted
in my inability to make a choice. I remember once buying a T-shirt in eight different colors
simply because I loved all colors and could not make up my mind. I did the same thing
with tennis headbands and wrist bands, notebooks, pens, or even drapes. It all felt cute
and fine at the moment. Now that I think about it, perhaps the sense of insecurity or indecisiveness is getting the better of me.
I used to admire those who never have to think twice about what they want, wondering how
wonderful it would be to have a strong mind. Now I realized that the only reason I could
not make up my mind whether in shopping for shoes or boyfriends or jobs is that I feel
insecure. Let me ask you this question, "how many things do you carry on when travelling?"
Some people carry nothing but a wallet and a toothbrush, I have to prepare for everything.
There is nothing wrong in making better perparations, but sometimes, life is like a
journey--the less things you carry, the further you can reach. No matter how many shoes
I buy or boyfriends I have, at the end of the day, when the time comes for me to move on,
most of them have to go.
Some might aruge that the shoes I bought were simply small quirks that do not cost much
but make life a lot more fun. Even if not, they make for an interesting story. But being
a hoarder comes with more pains. For those carrying nothing, they can pay more attention
to the views in life. But for hoarders, it is always about having to let something or
someone go. I am a little ashamed to admit that I may be hoarding potential boyfriends
as well. But who hasn't? Is there anyone who is not weighing his options among different
guys? That is a rather harmless type of hoarding. When everyone is doing so, it is no
longer unacceptable. As for whether it is ethical or rightous, who am I to judge? I am
just a little hoarder who comes here to vent his frustration every once in a while.
See you.....
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