From cuckoo brids to cuckoo me. 从林中的杜鹃鸟到gay圈的小疯子~
2已有 551 次阅读  2016-12-09 16:44   标签love 

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In the forests, when a female cuckoo bird is about to give birth to a young bird, she 
would lay the egg in another female bird's nest, mixing her child's egg with the other 
eggs that are not even her own species. Of course there are scientific explanations to
 this behavior, but people still refer to cuckoo birds as lazy birds, for they take 
advantage of other birds' resources to hatch their offsprings.

Personally, I think cuckoo birds are just clever. People like to use their own standards
 to make judgemental calls, but they seldom realize that ther are so many different ways
 to survive in this world. Cuckoo mother's behaviors are often deemed "lazy" or "wryly"
 because men like to honor qualities such as honesty and hard work. In their eyes, cuckoos
 impose their nursing obligations to other birds, so they do not deserve to be called
responsible parents. Now, I would like to ask one question, "who makes the rules that 
birds have to nurse their offsprings by themselves?"

If people can be that harsh on a bird, they certainly expect more from humans, which is
 why everyone feels pressured at different stages of their lives. As children, they are
 expected to behave. As students, they are expected to get good grades. As adults, they
 are expected to find a job and get married and have children. As elderlies, they are 
expected to be kind, nice, and quietly out of sight. If a person has three different 
roles to play in life, there will be three sets of rules for him to follow. 

A few years ago, I watched a thriller film Flight Plan starring Judie Foster.The film
 was about a plane engineer who was also a single mother. One day, After she and her 
daughter got onto a plane, her daughter was gone from the seat. All crew members deny 
that she boarded the plane with another person. Even the video footage of her whereabouts 
showed that she was alone. When she asked the passengers near her, no one claimed to have
 seen a little girl. After the whole world told her she was alone, there was a moment when
 she truely beleived that she was dellusional. Of course she later realized that she was 
invovled in a gigantic conspiracy and her daughter was really missing, and she used her knowledge of the plane and her intelligence to get her daughter back. After watching that
 plane, I couldn't help relating the story to our daily life. I was wondering if I could 
still believe in myself when the whole world speaks otherwise. It may sound ridiculous 
at first, but if you think about, how many times have you changed your behaviors because
 you think they were not in accordance with what others were doing?

At school, you try to be punctual and hardworking. At a certain age, you want to find a
 boyfriend. If you go to school or work, you try to avoid weird clothes or hats you 
actually enjoyo very much. During holidays, you join the army of migrating people to 
travel. When you are too tired to go on, you keep telling yourself life is full of 
obstacles and you are supposed to confront them and deal with them. When everyone is
 rolling their pants up, you think it is fashionable. Who is making the rules? Why 
are not you questioning any of it?

Those who do so will be considered a social outcast or a weirdo. But there is merit in 
rebels of any kind. In the ACT test, I once proposed a topic regarding social norms.
 In fact, all of us are bound by social norms, from how well dress to how we die.
 There is hardly anything that you do or say, or even think, that does not follow certain
 social norm. Even the most rebellious ones have been trained to follow some hidden rules.
 This is not necessarily bad, but I don't think there is anything wrong in questioning
 them sometimes.

My friends have all been busy dating or trying to get dates. We all use Blued, Ahloha, 
JackD, Feizan, or Ins to chat, flirt, date, or fuck one another. Why? Biology. We all 
have biological needs, which prompt mental or spiritual needs. However, sometimes, when
 I was busy chatting up different guys, it suddenly occured to me I was not sure why I did
 so. For example, I like to be alone. I always enjoy my spare time, because there are 
tennis matches to watch, games to play, reading to do, films to watch, and mountains to 
climb. Having a partner might make something more fun, but I can certainly do without one.
 Yet I couldn't help trying to find someone. Why? simple because I assume that one should
 not be alone. Frankly, I am not too deep in the mud because I am just having some fun 
most of the time, unlike my roommate, who keeps trying to find a boyfriend when he is 
clearly better off alone, at least for the time being.

I started out with the intention to talk about something else, but somehow strayed off 
topic to something this serious and boring. Oh well, let it be. Social norms are such 
a cliche topic. All I have to say is that complying with social rules and expecations
 is safe, but there is a whole world out there that most people do not get to experience.
 When we were children, all of us wanted to be the Monkey King, because he was cool and
 had all those incredible abilites. But the best part about Monkey King is that he was
 born out of the three layers of worlds and did not belong to any earlthly element, 
namely, 跳出三界外,不在五行中. This is the core value of the Monkey King. However, 
the Gods had to give him a headband to retrain him. That handband is now on everyone
 is head, casting spells on work, friends, and family relationships. 

My friends once asked me why I do not enjoy the company of straight people, my answer 
was that most of them, whether rich or poor, young or old, walk the same path, and sing
 the same tunes. They try to make more money, find a beautiful husband or wife, 
and have children. My mother keeps telling me that it is the responsibility of any 
man or woman, but I just can't agree.That is why I enjoing being gay so much. For 
some people, gay people are cursed because we cannot get married or proudly announced
 our love or identity. Form how I see it, the gay world is a backdoor to the natural
 or social world where everyone is programed to compete and reproduce, pushing the big
 wheels of evolution. The best part about being gay is the opportunity or the choice 
to stay single. It is harder for straight guys because they do not have the opportunity
 to stand outside and take a look, just like the film Truemen's World. That is why I am
 always baffled when some guys keep complaining how hard it is to be gay. Come on! It 
is a blessing in disguise. Notice the blessing and enjoy the special gift. Most gay 
guys still want to get married and adopt children. That is a personal choice, a well 
justified one. After all, we have been brought up with the traditional values, and 
having someone to share the life can be a wonderful thing. But personally, I thinking
 the best part about being gay is that we are given a ship to sale outside the big 
world full of social norms. 

Strangly the word "cuckoo" also means "crazy" under some circumstances. So let's 
conclude it with cuckoo just as we started it. Sometimes, it does not hurt to be a cuckoo.

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  • Riedt 2016-12-10 19:08
    this one goes kinda deep. for the part of biological and mental needs, it feels amazing to see someone who holds similar opinions, or maybe not so similar, whatever... but to me, i would use the word "overwhelm" instead of "prompt". i mean the biological needs are so much powerful that people can hardly escape from trying every means to satisfy those needs, even though a lots of times it may go against the mental ones. that's why we may screw up something sometimes. and that's also what i have been warning myself to intentionally pay attention to. and for the part of being gay, i think everyone has their own attitude towards being with this identity, so there is no need to be too critical or even sarcastic. and different people shares different backgrounds, which makes it reasonable that there are different voices or answers to the same question. and personally i would think that makes human diversified and beautiful and that's also why it always feels good to read different people's papers and their thoughts, including yours. :)