Being able to say that I come to this planet for the process of learning instead of the result of it is enough.

Noting stays forever; no matter how many hours I have been spending working on a skill, it can only stay with me “for a while. “It could be 50 years, and it could be less, like 20 years or even a few years. However, it is not the result that I should cherish the most, but the process of working so hard to get there. It took me long and grueling 13+ years to work on perfecting my English skills, however, it could be taken away by death or disability or muscle atrophy within a few years or an instant. Should I cry for my loss or be mad or be so agitated and lose my consciousness? The answer is an absolute “No.” As a student coming to this planet, what truly matters is the process of learning. When I was on my way to hone my English skill, so many people had been my guiding angels and helping me unconditionally. Unfortunately, I was paying too much attention to my own progress and how much money I could make out of this language, and paid too little attention to savor the moment of the joy and heavenly feeling of using this language. Having said this, I need to promise myself, no matter how difficult my life is going to be ahead, I won’t give up my opportunities to observe each and every step of living as a human being while staying conscious.

Remember, I am 31 years old, even if I can live fully to my 80s, I have less than 50 years. 50 years are truly short. If I retired at age of 60 (I may not be physically and mentally strong enough to work effectively at age of 65), I would only have 29 years. Wow, 29 years can be really, really short. If I didn’t savor every single moment of my life and take it as my last second or minute, I would definitely regret when I lie on my death bed.

On the other hand, if from tonight, I try my hardest to cherish every tiny and little moment of my life, even living for another few years is worth of doing it. If I asked myself, how much I can remember about my previous 31 years of life, to be honest, not much. Still as a young man, looking back to my past seems to be neither necessary nor mentally healthy. Now, it is really the time to do it. As a kid, I was abused a lot, and also loved so much by my parents. I was a late bloomer both physically and mentally. I was taking everything for granted before reaching age of 25. I was not a loving person, and hating myself a lot, and even thinking of killing myself for an ultimate relief. At the time, living on this planet was meaningless, and I didn’t have any purpose. 15 years of education truly failed to enlighten me and bring about a strong sense of fulfillment in my life. Between 25 and 31, it only took six years for me to leap forward mentally and spiritually to find so much to gain. I was gradually understanding my mother and father’s pain and able to sense their unconditional love from a completely new perspectives. At age of 31, I could confidently say that I have fully forgiven myself and them (or may be near), and our bond has never been tighter and stronger. At age of 31, I know that materials cannot enhance the authentic happiness of my life. Most importantly, I gradually realize that I have to give in order to receive. No matter what I do, karma is always there to watch every single of my actions. If I did anything morally wrong, I simply couldn’t fool myself.

At age of 31, I care less and less about how others view me and my life; instead, I am trying harder and harder to place my energy in the right place. I am caring less about how many glossy clothes I have and how large my apartment is, but more about how simple my life is becoming and how rich my inner world is growing.