Lets face it, ladies, having a son is basically a waste of time and energy for a mother. Sure, some mothers might love their sons, don’t get me wrong, but myself and countless other moms would rather just have the abortion. There’s not going to be any enjoyment in it. No fun shopping trips, no sharing of clothes, and no mother-daughter chats in the van. But there is a way to mitigate the malaise of having a male, and that’s getting him interested in boys. Gay sons offer all the same benefits as straight daughters. You can talk with them about men, gossip with them about women, and never have to worry about them bringing home some cunt who shows you no respect. There are innumerable ways to nudge you son towards a homosexual lifestyle, and here we have assembled the most effective.

接受现实吧女士们，生儿子基本上就是浪费时间和精力。当然有些母亲喜欢儿子，没错别误会，但是有很多跟我一样的母亲宁愿把那个小东西给流掉。因为根本没神马乐趣，没办法一起逛街血拼，没办法共享衣柜，更不可能做你的贴心小棉袄。但生了儿子，还是有办法来缓解这些苦闷的，那就是把他们掰弯。一个基佬儿子基本上跟一个女儿差不离，你可以跟他们一起聊男人，八卦别的女人，永远不用担心哪天他带回家一个不知尊老爱幼的小婊子。有很多方法可以让自己的儿子一点点地基佬化，这里我们只给出最有效的！

Ahh... behold, the sweet relief of having a gay son.

(>_<)，看哪，有个基佬儿子多么美好~

1. The Dry Teat
1.断奶

A simple way to have your son become sexually interested in men is to cut off all emotional contact with him at birth. Do not show your son warmth or affection, these actions will imprint on him a sense of physical comfort with women. Instead, have your husband show him the affection, but you best to let him do so without saying so. Encourage him to be an active father, take your son to all of his sports and clubs, shower with him, and kiss him goodnight on the lips. After some time, your son should feel an extreme physical physical alienation with women, and an extreme physical attraction to men. Stoke the flames to whatever level of femininity you desire by chatting with him about womanly things. You could even have him read this magazine!

一个简单易行的办法就是，从出生起就切断与其的感情交流。不要对自己的儿子表现出慈爱温柔的一面，这只会给其留下女性美好的回忆。取而代之，应该让你丈夫去做这些，当然这些要在神不知鬼不觉中进行。让你老公主动做一个慈爱的爸爸，让他带儿子去运动或者酒吧，跟儿子一起淋浴，晚安亲亲一定要亲嘴巴。假以时日，你的儿子自然而然在生理上就会疏远女性，也会自然而然地亲近男性。再加一把火，你可以跟他谈论女人关心的话题，你甚至可以让他读我们的杂志【淑女月刊】！

2. The Bait and Switch

2。诱导转向

The great thing about this tactic is that, as our committed readers know, it works wonders on lesbian daughters. For the uninitiated, the method boils down to this: hiring a man, dressed as a woman, to seduce your son and attempt sexual contact by fording the perceptual barriers to sexual attraction through clever disguise. A Vietnamese lady boy or two should do the trick, and most will agree to package deals if your daughter started watching anime and you need to intervene. You could try being sneaky and setting your son up on a “blind date” with your newly hired man servant, but you need not be so cunning. It is every young boy’s fantasy to have their parents hire them a high-class-hooker to take their virginity, so you could probably just be up-front about the arrangement, but leave some of it a suprise. He will never see “it” coming. After the panties slide down those freshly-shaven legs, he’ll be given the surprise of a lifetime, a night he will not soon forget.

此法的妙处相信我们的忠实读者已经知道，在上一篇自己的女儿是T，如何把她拉直中，大家已经体验到此法之精妙。对不谙此道的初心者，此法可以简化如下：雇一个男人，装扮成女人，引诱你的儿子，通过巧妙的伪装，突破你儿子的认知障碍，从而让其得尝搅基之乐。只要一到两个越南来的人妖就够了 ，通常情况下他们会给你个一揽子优惠。你还可以偷偷地安排你儿子和自己新雇佣的佣人约会，但也没必要如此狡猾。因为每个男孩都会幻想自己的爹妈给自己雇用一个高端鸭来夺走自己的处男身，所以你大可以将此计划说出，仅需保留小小惊喜便可。当裤子滑落的一刹那，你的儿子将会收到一生的惊喜，一个他永生难忘的回忆~

3. Shop Smart

3.聪明购物

What you buy your son can make or break your plans for his impending homosexuality. The right video game and he might never consider being sexually interested in women, let alone men. The only homosexuality he will ever have would be viewing gay pornography and screwing around with his loser gamer friends after you go to sleep. Get him interested in something that will drive him towards plentiful friendships with women, like reading fiction, writing poetry, dance, and performing arts. If you have the money, figure skating is a near certain bet, but it takes morning upon bleary-eyed morning of commitment before you see results. Buy the right clothing as well. Never settle for blue jeans, unless they are Calvin Klein and worn with an untucked collared shirt. Birkenstock sandals can also work well if he isn’t at risk of being lost to the hippies, but otherwise penny loafers are sufficiently gay, just be sure to include two shiny new pennies for maximum effect.

给你儿子买的东西只管重要，决定着你掰弯行为的成败。电子游戏不行，沉溺于游戏的他不但不会对女性感兴趣，更不要说男人。作为宅男或许在你睡觉之后，他会和自己的废柴伙伴们一起浏览GV，但也仅限于此了。要让他培养能跟女生一起相处的兴趣，类似阅读言情小说啊，写诗跳舞啊，表演啊，如果足够多金，可以让他去学花样滑冰这样的基佬运动。买的衣服也要合适，牛仔裤是绝对不行的，除非是CK牌，把衬衫扎进腰带的穿法也要杜绝。勃肯拖鞋也行，只要不是太嬉皮。便士平跟船鞋（penny loafer）也足够Gay，为了达到最佳效果，一定要塞两枚亮闪闪的硬币哟~


4. You are What You Eat

If you feed your son meat and potatoes, he will become a meat and potatoes kind of guy (straight, aside from deep sexual insecurity). You need to start him off right with tofu, soy, and other products that will raise his estrogen levels. Avoid red meat, as it will affect testosterone levels adversely to your purposes. Buy the right fruit, always go with bananas over peaches. Stick with a vegetarian or vegan diet, which will also help him to become well-adjusted to eating the food of his future kind. If he absolutely refuses to go vegetarian, steer him with the right selection of meat. Keep hot dogs on hand (be sure to call them wieners), and always, always buy sausage links, not patties. Before you know it, chowing down on kielbasa will be who he is, and you can enjoy all the rewards of having a gay son to call your own.

4.吃神马就是神马
如果你喂自己的儿子吃土豆炖肉，那么他就会变成土豆炖肉式的男孩，也就是很直的男人。现在开始，要为他吃豆腐，黄豆和其他任何能提高他雌激素水平的东东。一定要避免红肉，因为这会增加他体内的睾丸激素，这样就背道而驰了。水果要买香蕉等棍状的，不要买水蜜桃。要坚持吃半素或全素，如果他拒绝，那么要选择合适的肉喂食。手头备着热狗（记住要称其为肉棍），一定要常买条状香肠，杜绝买肉糜。不知不觉，他就会爱上吃大腊肠！你也可以坐享其成，享受有个基佬儿子的好日子了~

 

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网友评论，暂时还没翻完，先是发表在了豆瓣上，可是审核了很久才发布！！！我的劳动啊！！！
Sam says:
December 28th, 2010 at 7:25 PM
Dear Ann,
I am a gay man with a partner and we just adopted a 12-year-old Vietnamese boy who we also want to be gay. But in Vietnam he was given a lot of red meat and is already showing tendencies towards women. What can we do?? Is it too late? Should we trade him in for a younger model?
Reply

 

Sam留言：

我和我的同志伴侣刚领养了一个12岁的越南男孩，我们很希望他也是Gay。但是他在越南的时候吃了很多的红肉，现在已经表现出对女性的喜好了，我们要肿么办？？现在太晚了吗？？或者我们应该拿他去交换一个更年轻点的？

Ann Thrope says:
December 28th, 2010 at 7:35 PM
Its not too late, just buy him the Breakfast Club first, as a transition, then follow it up with 10 Things I Hate About You.