Dark Paradise
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3已有 834 次阅读  2012-12-16 21:53   标签dark  paradise  stupid  love 


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  Some days ago , a little brother found me and tried to talk with me . However ,he told me he loves me and couldn't hold back his feelings . Well , actully I don't wanna accept his professions , because he's so little 17 year old boy , he deserve to accompany with a better youngman in same age. What's more , I couldn't fall in love with a little boy without love feelings .
    I told him , that I has loved a straight man for about 2 years , and I am willing to wait him untill he married .The little borther seemed to unwill to accept this reality , and I have to say yes . He was offline with silence. Unfortunately ,i hurt a barely 17 years old boy ,but he gave me no idea . He needs to figur out that love can't be compelled , maybe let it go or do something cruel is best thing to make someone to forget his wrong feelings . I am sorry , I have to follow my heart and only give my best wishes to him. 
    In this city , I feel kinda like in a dark paradise . Shenzhen is one of toppest city over all the country ,I admit. Everything is so shining and hit people's desire and heart . But when it's dark , I still could breathe the taste of loneliness . Honstly , I got no many friends here , it seems that I couldn't open my heart and mind to get someone coming to my world . A friend indeed is a friend in need . Time will tell that which one could be with you with this long road .
    I never think about that I have stayed in this city for half a year already . Bullshit job , poor salary , it pushs me to a embarrassing side . I only could feed on myself , and leave no money to save in bank . My collegemate said that People always need some time to find out the best and fittest road for himself . Yeah , maybe he's right . Then what's wrong with me ? Everyday sitting in front of the company like a Mummy lost his mind , cliking and hitting the keyboard and mouse . Okatu ? yes , a poor fat okatu is buring his youth and dream .
    What am I ? Where am I ? What I have done ? How impossible the life is ? Why all the things are becoming so stupid ? When the happiness knocks my door ? I nearly spare no much time to think about these questions , I hate this me and disqualify to hate the fate and life .
    Get lost in a dark paradise ,I really hate to be a walking dead . Lord , I couldn't see your halo , so point out a way for me , and I wish you a fantastic Christmas , your birthday !
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  • ivan 2012-12-16 22:36
    放下抱怨,静静的等待可能是最好的选择
  • 魔羯座先森 2012-12-17 09:04
    ivan: 放下抱怨,静静的等待可能是最好的选择
    我知道你评论绝对会说这个
  • rbmdck 2012-12-17 14:53
    dude..everything gonna be ok. believe life, believe the future..
  • aoxuelin 2012-12-17 18:42
    Please allow me to convery my deepest consolation to your predicament. If you really wish for a change, shake a leg. God never responds to mourning and complaints can only feed on themselves. Pray to yourself, 'casue you are the only redeemer! BTW, I really love the music!
  • 魔羯座先森 2012-12-18 18:37
    aoxuelin: Please allow me to convery my deepest consolation to your predicament. If you really wish for a change, shake a leg. God never responds to mourning a
    your words are really impressive . Surely , i know that God won't promise me some better gifts or assit me . I just wanna express and speak out what i was think at that moment .Thanks , anyway , buddy .
  • 魔羯座先森 2012-12-18 18:39
    rbmdck: dude..everything gonna be ok. believe life, believe the future..
    Yes , i won't let my life full of complains. If I am like a lost puppy , i will kill myself , not standing here to speak out some words .
  • 魔羯座先森 2012-12-18 18:39
    rbmdck: dude..everything gonna be ok. believe life, believe the future..
    Thanks for your kind words , anyway , buddy




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