I was in my deep and sweet dream. In my
dream, I could go anywhere as I wanted. “Sydney!” I told myself, and with a
blink, riding my bike, I was there already.
I went to a few bookstores, and most
importantly, USYD, my university. I couldn’t remember any detail, but I wouldn’t
forget how happy and excited I felt.I was walking briskly, humming an unknown
song, running into a few acquaintances, and stepping into the depth of the
university, and capriciously, I saw my ocean again. It’s not as aquamarine
and pristine as I used to remember, but muddy, foggy and heavily polluted.
Still, I was uplifted by its dusty and salty smell, releasing power of washing
away all my bitterness, tears and frustration and its unconditional love.
Water is my everything, and no matter how
devastating my life has been and is, as long as I can either be around or be
inside of water, my pounding heart would calm down; my wandering thoughts would
slow down; most amazingly, I would be centered as if water is the grand uni
verse, and I am one of its negligible planets.
In my sweet dream, I was like a child again
in water, and unfortunately, the nostalgic moment and feeling failed to last.
With another blink, I was in my Architecture building’s hollow and suppressing corridor
again feeling suffocated, and cold sweating profusely. My final scores of the
last year at university were shown in bold letters from a few large hanging
down TV screen from the ceiling.
I failed! I wouldn't be able to graduate in
time! my future is sabotaged by myself!
I screamed and screamed, and was awakened
by the “bullet hitting the wall”sound. The rain is powering out of my 21st
floor’s long windows. The sky is disgustingly gray.
I am deeply depressed.
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